Thursday, January 24, 2013

“DJANGO UNCHAINED” – Nollywood’s Biggest Blockbuster

The movie “Django Unchained” is indeed Nollywood’s biggest blockbuster since “Living in Bondage.” It has been making the rounds both home and abroad, since its release in December, 2012. I couldn’t resist the temptation to review this movie.



PRODUCER
Amaka Igwe
DIRECTOR
Teco Benson DGN

STARRING
                                   Richard Mofe Damijo   Dr. King Schultz
                                             Chidi Mokeme   Django
                                             Nkiru Silvanus   Broomhilda
                                              Ramsey Noah   Calvin Candie
                                                  Justus Esiri   Stephen

SYNOPSIS
Chidi Mokeme is a slave whose brutal history with his former masters lands him face-to-face with Benin-born head hunter High Chief. Richard Mofe Damijo. R.M.D is on the trail of the murderous Okah brothers, and only Chidi Mokeme can lead him to these men. The unorthodox R.M.D acquires Chidi with a promise to free him upon the capture of the Okah brothers – dead or alive… and also to help him rescue his wife, Nkiru Silvanus, from an evil plantation owner, Ramsey Noah.  Justus Esiri also stars in the movie.

AWARD NOMINATIONS
While 9ice is still waiting to bring home his Grammy, here is a Nollywood movie (sorry, film) already being nominated for the Oscar Awards in 5 different categories. The categories include...
Best Picture
Actor in a Supporting Role
Cinematography
Sound Editing
Writing

HIGH POINTS
Moving on, the high point of this movie for me was the “Blood Splatter” effect and I make bold to say I wouldn’t see that much blood, working in an abattoir for 5 whole years o. Abeg, make una clap for Teco Benson, the director. “Human beings made of only blood and no flesh? It just had to be Nollywood things.” The producers must have spent half of the movie’s budget buying tomatoes.
Nollywood has indeed come a long way from the famous days of using over-diluted zobo as blood. The blood effect was simply amazing and for the first time in my life, I enjoyed the sight of blood. Well, for the sake of upcoming Nollywood producers and directors who truly wish to stop using zobo as blood, I’ll share my recipe.

Fresh Tomatoes
Fresh Pepper (Atarodo)
Coloring (Red)
Gino tomatoes paste
 
 

Note: Please make sure the above listed items are all fresh because you can’t achieve the same effect using rotten items. If you use blender, the movie go don dey end before you blend the tomatoes finish o, so please use grinding machine (iya risi’s machine will do). To find out how to mix these items in the right proportion, you will have to buy my new book “Best blood effect since 300 (Spartans).” E no cost at all, na just N2,500.

LOW POINTS
I had issues with the title track. Sound Sultan’s “Bush Meat” featuring 2face Idibia & W4 would have been a better option. 
 “One day, bush meat go catch the hunter,
one day, bush meat catch the hunter….”

Waje’s “Oko mi” would also have been the perfect love song to end this movie. Seeing all the trouble Chidi Mokeme went through to rescue her, Nkiru Silvanus should have just sang…
Toju mi baby oko mi toh sure
Baby toh sure, oh baby, bobo toh sure
Toju mi baby oko mi toh sure
Baby toh sure, oh baby, bobo toh sure…”
  
I also didn’t like the fact that a Nollywood movie with a running time of 2hrs:45mins had just one part. “Wetin happen to the days of parts 1, 2 & 3?”
 In summation, “Django Unchained” is not your average Nollywood movie but if you have seen the Hollywood version, then you go realize say this review #Na wash!

Please use the comment box to share your thoughts.

5 comments:

  1. Got me wondering... its a relief to see that the nollywood version in only your dreams.

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  2. U r just a funny silly man. If I dint know beta,I for chop ur review hook, line plus fisherman sef. Twas indeed hilarious though, good one.

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  3. Neek Oluwaseunayofunmi McIsaak15 Feb 2013, 08:50:00

    Olu Jacobs should have played "Stephen". To say na Nollywood, movie for rish Part 5 or 6 (no offence). Commot advert, one movie no dey pass 30mins. Nice work B!

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  4. Lol...... Funny...... Naija......#smbh

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  5. lmao.nice one bro

    ReplyDelete